I flew back into Sydney from Melbourne this afternoon w/ a heavy ankle ball weight of a moral mood. Rain. Why now? The only day of this trip to have bad weather. The only day of this trip I had overly worked for to get free. Free for my passion was this Friday. Free from the buzz of servers, free from there host names going thru my head, free from anything involving computers, numbers, barcodes, IT asset mgmt, or anything in which must succoum my daily brain thoughts for my salary. My hopes of a once in a life time chance of getting a motorbike in this part of the world and getting out of this city and breathing the real air of New South Wales just doesn't seem worth the expense in the rain. I feel i'm overly letting this effect me but it was the highlight of my recent daydreams and adrenaline rushes of these travels. Perhaps I'm being soft and should be out there anyways which is dragging on my anxiety tonite. I remember the teenage feeling thirteen years ago and saving for six months just to film some skateboard lines in Chicago and we went there and fuck, rain every day. It didn't stop me from skating in it. It just ruined some good bearings. Fuck the weather I keep thinking but w/ driving my rental car being difficult enough in this weather and the opposite law of evey instict I have its probly best. As a rider you tend to expect peoples road mistakes and really have to because your life fucking depends on it but w/ every unnatural wierd opposing car turn today I flinch in my embedded mental instinct of the way the road goes in my progammed way of reacting to it as is in the States. Plus the lag of travel, loss of sleep, and lonliness is starting to disect my alertness so I'm wimping it and basking in my sorrow for doing so. I'm so sick of bus, airbus(subway), and trolly map reading routes and walking that it is going to be a evening of imagination in someone more tough than myself's travels: Ted Simon's Jupiter travels...A book..read it! It's quite a story of four years on a bike and the world and of my own subconsious wants of being free on a bike in some strange land!